Beloveds, my Ministerial Internship is wrapping up. My farewell service is Sunday, August 31 st . In that service I will reflect on my time as your intern: what it has meant to me, the healing power of community, how I’ve learned, some challenges I’ve faced, and so on. My experience has been extraordinary! You have indeed been a remarkable “teaching congregation” for me. For now, I’d like to address
some important guidelines—especially about communication with you—that we need to observe once my internship is over.
Because I have been practicing as a minister during my internship, I must observe the customary protocols and guidelines that take place when a minister leaves a congregation. Since I have been an intern—and not, let’s say, a settled or interim minister—the guidelines will be a little different. Typically when a minister says farewell to a congregation, the minister and congregation observe a two-year period of no communication and/or contact. In my case, that period will be one year.
The purpose of this year-long period of no communication and/or contact is to give everyone the space to fully take on board that an important change has happened: “the minister” has moved on. In this case, my internship is over and I will turn to pursuing the next steps of my vocation as a UU minister. The UU Asheville community will also move on and turn to pursuing the next steps of its vocation, without me. And in this case, the congregation will go back to a period of time with two outstanding settled ministers.
Some of you will experience this change more than others. I know that I will grieve my separation from you; and you may grieve as well. Leaving you is going to be hard. I’ve grown to love this community and being a small part of its sacred Whole. For me, leaving UU Asheville is going to feel like a kind of death—the cessation of something vital. That, really, is a key dimension of the protocols around no communication and/or contact. We all need the space to contend with my absence from UU Asheville in a healthy way. As much as I’d love to continue
my internship with you—I really really would!—my growth requires that I move on to new challenges, experiences, and contexts. Likewise, UU Asheville will shift into a new normal, without interns, facing new challenges, experience, and contexts—and it will thrive.
During our period of no communication and/or contact, please do not email or call me. I will not be able to schedule and keep appointments or social events with you. I cannot provide pastoral care, or advise any of the many committees I have participated in during my internship. On the other hand, if I bump into you at the grocery store, on a trail somewhere, or at a rally downtown, we don’t need to pretend as if we don’t know one another. Let’s even have a hug! But if and when we bump into one another, we must strictly observe a moratorium on talking about the congregation. If and when we bump into one another, I’m surely going to ask you, “Hey! How are you doing?!” I’m permitted to ask the question and you’re permitted to answer. You can even ask me how I’m doing—though, of course, you’re probably going to get a Matt-length looooooong answer (so if your ice cream is melting, or you have to be somewhere soon, you might just want to say “Hello” and politely run away). We can also keep track of one another on Facebook. The purpose of the guidelines is not to deny that Love is at the Center of our community and our congregational relationship, but rather for us to make space for a new relationship to potentially develop later, with Love at the Center, but without our connection being UU Asheville.
Finally, my Ministerial Internship at UU Asheville isn’t over until the end of August, so let’s make the most of our remaining time together! If you have questions about these post-internship guidelines and protocols, please ask me. While there are great reasons for our no communication and/or contact phase, it may feel quite unnatural—even unnecessary. That’s OK. Let’s talk about it. We have time. I care about you, and you care about me, and that is a blessing that won’t end with my internship. May it be so!
Matt Farris
Ministerial Intern