September 25th is our wedding anniversary. Last year, Rob and I were ready to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. You might recall, that was the night when the rain began, before the hurricane. We were at the church to take part in one of our social justice postcard writing event with UU the Vote and our community partners. Our son Mars, a senior but not yet driving, was downtown. He was going to need a ride home. After the event, Rob and I made a quick trip back to our house to change, because we had a very special dinner reservation downtown. The rain kept coming, and Rob got in the car to go get Mars. We live in a neighborhood on a high hill, and at the bottom there’s a creek, near the one place you can leave the neighborhood. When he got to the bottom of the hill, the creek had flooded the banks and the road completely, and was still rising – no exit. It was a little hard not to panic. We immediately began working to figure out who could pick up Mars and keep him. Fortunately, his best friend’s parents happened to be downtown, and they swung by to get him. He would end up there for almost five days. We were separated as the hurricane soon followed our rainy anniversary night.
Everyone around here has their own stories of what happened last year, and as the anniversary of this profoundly disrupting time returns by calendar (and with a bit of rain), we need to be especially tender with one
another. WNC has so many things to be proud of – the way we came together, the hard work done, the mutual aid offered, the resiliency and strength we showed…. But we also lost people we loved, suffered devastation and had to deal (and are still having to deal) with frustration and loss and the overturning of whole communities, which will simply never be the same, some never to return at all. At times like these, our emotional bodies remember even when our minds do not; the body keeps the score, as van der Kolk and others have taught. And that can cause us to act in unexpected ways; to be quick to anger and frustration, or feel sad or anxious, without being sure just why. It’s why we have to be extra tender with ourselves and each other.
Rob and I never did really celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary; but now we’re coming up on 21 and I hope we’ll figure something lovely out. What matters more is that Mars was safe, our community held, and Rob and I can figure out what to do, together. That’s what love, commitment, and community allow. That’s what UU Asheville is about. We re-opened our doors after only missing one Sunday together due to Helene. We gathered, without water or electricity, to hold each other. We created a massive phone tree, we reached out to everyone we had any information in our system about. We loved each other through, because that’s what we do. We do it in the hardest times, we do it in the in-between times and we do it in good times.
This is our 75th year as a congregation. So here’s my invitation to you: come on home, and help us keep loving each other into the future we are building, together. And don’t forget: be tender, with yourselves and each other.
See you in church!
With love,
Rev. Audette
We return to two services on Sunday, Sept. 14th – next Sunday.
9:15 am Contemplative Service
10:00 – Coffee Hour and Special Programs
11:15 am – Traditional Service and Faith Formation
12:15 pm – Social time